Repeated business reverses, failure after failure, had destroyed self-confidence. I was broken in spirit. The self in me didn't want to die. It wanted to try to get up from ignominious defeat and try once again to tread the broad and popular way of vanity and of this world. ........In final desperation, I threw myself on [God's] mercy. If He could use my life, I would give it to Him - not in physical suicide, but as a living sacrifice, to use as He willed. ---HWA, Autobiography Volume I
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